This post will likely be deleted in the future, but for now it will serve as a quick “about me”.
In my early 20s I went to a therapist suspecting I might have ADHD. He had me take a psychological test. After reviewing the results, he felt I had Generalized Anxiety Disorder (G.A.D.) and he recommend I pickup a copy of The Anxiety and Worry Workbook : The Cognitive Behavioral Solution. I worked through about a quarter of the book and stashed it on the bookshelf. For the next twenty years I wandered through life thinking I was an anxious person. For reasons I’ll get into later on this blog, I had a sort of reawakening in late 2017 which led me to be more in touch with my own feelings and the “anxious” label just didn’t feel right. I also started re-reading the Anxiety Workbook and I just couldn’t relate, and it made me feel like I had things together alright (at least in the context of anxiety). The first half of 2018 was an emotional roller coaster with great highs and lows, and I had not given much thought to my psychology.
…but then in June 2018, and a friend suggested to my wife, “maybe he has Asperger’s Syndrome” and from there, my journey had begun anew. I took tests. I read books. I listened to podcasts. My wife read a couple articles. We both believed it was a right fit. It explained so much of my behavior, and my inability to change certain aspects of myself that we both wanted to improve.
I went to a therapist who worked with an Asperger’s specialty and who was polyamory friendly. While no one person can say “yes, you’re on the Autism Spectrum” without a diagnosis, she believed my feelings were correct. I went to her about 6 times, and while I did like it and she was awesome, I felt it was too expensive for the value I was getting, so I stopped.
In the ~9 months since, I have been fairly passive on working on the Aspergian nature of myself. I listened to Look Me in the Eye by John Elder Robison that Fall, and follow some inspirational Instagram accounts, but that’s been about it. So, why now? Why am I working on this part of myself again? I think it largely has to do with taking a break from dating — which has given my brain more space to think about me, and not people I want to be intimate with.
So here we are! Future posts will be more topic-specific.